People that are confident are easily identified. They know exactly what they want and most times they know how to go about it. Self confidence is a very wonderful attribute for a person to have. There are some very common habits or attribute about them. Now let us look at them.
-You can never convince them they are worth anything less than others. They never feel so and you can never convince them of that. One very confident person I know has a fundamental belief, ‘my worth as a person is same as everyone else’s’. But they would still have to work on what they want. Remember that life does not divide evenly all it has to give. Standing up for yourself and looking out for yourself is expected.
Confident people also pursue their dreams, enjoy their life and try to make the most out of life in the most possible way. Standing up for what you believe in will be a great place to start.
-Fear of self doubt is never their thing. It is important to know that self doubt is not all such a bad thing and confident people know this. One could doubt themselves sometimes and this becomes normal. This is not a frequent case with confident people.
Occasional fear is no stranger. This could come mostly from lack of proper preparation for something like an interview, a recital, presentation etc. The best way to beat this is to do some planning on what you intend saying. This will give you some sort of fall back plan when thing start to fall apart. The voice of self doubt may arise saying you have not done enough, to this either you move on to something else or you just take a break.
-Confident people do not always hesitate. They would mostly take action. This is a flip side of the above point. Once they are sure they have put in enough preparation they move on to take action without worrying too much [if at all] about what might go wrong. They have trust that they have done enough.
-They understand the fine line between confidence and arrogance. They know the difference between being confident and arrogance. Some people for fear of not wanting to step on people’s toes taking up unnecessary space or plain being a jerk are afraid of conference.
When you become more confident in yourself, you become less self absorbed. You need to stop worrying about how you cut across to other people. This is a great place to continue on the road to building your confidence.
-They do not fear feedback, or even conflict. Feedback are mostly how we build ourselves. Sometimes they come as negative and hurtful, confident people look past these. Most confident people will accept feed backs, work on it and grow with out being defensive. By the time you take off of the table your self worth, you will handle the worst types of criticism without allowing it to break or mare you in any form.
During conflicts they do not trample on people or their rights. It is very possible to share or air your points or view and also listen to what others have to say and most time reach a compromise.
-The fear of failure is far from them. People that are confident are not afraid of failing. There will still be gaps for failure and when this happens handle it very well. They push through their challenges and come out well.
-Staying away from ads [not letting it get to them]. Advertisements have a way of getting to people, letting people feel low. That is how most of them are usually structured.
Companies that may want to sell you skin care products may sometimes structure their adverts to make you feel very bad about your skin. They most probably will come at you with a problem that you never noticed before.
-They are not usually carried away by the happenings on social media. This point is plaited into the about point. On social media, people edit out their realness most times. They post only what they feel displays the colourful parts of them. They display cozy life style, great careers, super model looks, perfect marriages etc, which are not real. People have bad days, maybe some physical imperfection and they do not go about trotting them on Facebook.
-They do not have to make things perfect or even wait for them to be perfect. They are usually not perfectionists. Perfectionism is one of the many forms of faulty thinking that builds up low self confidence. If things have to be all perfect and figured out before you take action then be sure that you will not get much done.
-They go ahead trying out new things. They try new things without fear. Fails and mistakes make you realize new things and attain growth. They push and try new things while trying to understand their failures and mistakes.
They have come to understand that failures are a part of life. Paradoxically speaking, by being ready and willing to fail and make mistakes they attain growth and succeed more. They achieve more especially as they are not always waiting for thing to be 100 per cent perfect.
-Other people can not determine their goals. They simply do not let other people determine their goals. No one should tell you what is important to you and do not let societal expectation drive your decisions.
-The focus is usually not on themselves. They usually do not focus on themselves. This should not sound counter intuitive to you. When people have confidence about themselves they usually not dwell on themselves. Most times we walk into a room and we silently say, ‘they are looking at me, may be am not looking bright or maybe am grumpy’. There are such moments.
The strange reality is that these same people that you think are thinking and passing judgement on you already have their own problems.
Photo Credit: el CREMA