When it come to first dates and its etiquette, it is mainly about putting your best foot out, presenting your best self. About pushing yourself up a notch. It is also very important that you keep all your faculties in check. Come on, this is a stranger that you probably met with the help of an online dating service or on social media, even if you have been chatting for a long time. Delicate care needs to be taken.
Even as you are trying to be very impressive and make a great first impression, you are also expected to be honest about who you are and what you are out looking for. This is mainly about setting your needs on clearly first, and considerable, in a way that it is respectful to the other person sitting right across the table.
To some old fashioned people, first dates are about being polite and crossing you legs and trying not to be too forward at things on the date. I would strongly suggest you throw all that into the bin and get on with these new rules that am about to make known to you.
Am positive that if you follow them the resultant effect will be awesome. These first date etiquette are an updated version.
-Make a conscious effort to be on time. This is important. You do not want your date to switch into the ‘I have been stood up mood’, this is what usually happens when you keep your waiting for too long. This will not be good.
If something is keeping you or you will need more time be sure to text or call…in all keep your date posted.
-Stay away from the phone. It is best you keep your phone away. An emergency like a family member is about to give birth, is in labour, or some other sort of emergency, keep the phone away. It is expected that your close friends and family already know where you are at so if you do not respond to a text or call on time they should understand.
It is important that your date know that they have all your attention. This is important. If your phone is in sight even though you are not texting it may just translate to the fact that something else is more important.
-You should be clear and honest about what you are looking for. The first date is the best time to bring up what you are looking for and expectations for the future. If you met online, this is an opportunity for you to talk about why you both are online and what you expect to get from it. If you met in person just maybe you were sad or something, this is the time you state it, go straight to the point.
If your partner is looking for a relationship, something long time that will lead to maybe marriage and you are just looking for a night stand or a hook up or something with benefits, this is the best time to know and you bail if the need be.
-Be honest about your situation, your circumstances. If you are still sorting your self out as it regards work, be sure to not hide this. If accommodation is a problem let this be known.
Your past romantic life is not to come up just yet but anything that will be a problem even remotely during your dating, be sure to discuss it and also encourage your date to do the same. You will find that this will save you both a lot of time.
-Try not to be judgemental or conclusive easily. While it is important you keep your standards it is equally important that you keep an open mind. Take for example if your date shows up wearing something you do not like, or has something physical that you do not find attractive, do not immediately give up and walk away.
Throwing in the towel just like that and walking away will be a completely wrong thing to do.
-Be a good listener. Pay attention to what your date is saying. Even if your date picks on a topic that you do not have interest listen to it and try not to give some dry and distant contribution.
-If your date meets your taste and you like what you see, give some eye contact. Your eyes can send a lot of message. It can tell your date you are interested in them or you are as bored as hell.
If you have a hard time making eye contact or it is simply difficult for you let this be known to your date. You do not want them thinking that you are simply not interested or just rude.
-You should ask questions. This is a very sure way to create a dialogue. When someone is going on and continues going on and there is no feedback or questions from the other end things can really go south fast, and this you will not like.
Also by asking questions you get to understand more about what is being said and you get to understand your date more. When you understand more you get to draw your conclusions better and easy.
-Be open minded…as much as possible. It is very possible that you will not like all that your date has to say. You have to be open about this. If your intention is to get to know someone at least you need to be open to them and honest too.
Give them time to talk about what they want to no matter how disinterested you are. It has been known and seen where opposites get attracted and do make it in love. You should be open and aware that the night… the date could take you to anywhere.
-Stay within the confines of your comfort zone. It is best to always stay there. If your date suggests you guys do something that does not really go down well with you be sure to stand your ground.
Do not agree to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You are under no obligation what so ever, this you must remember date or no date.
-You do not have to justify your beliefs. Never feel the need to justify what you believe in. If you are met with some sort of negative judgement about an opinion you have and belief in, never feel like you have to explain yourself because you really do not.
You are entitled to you opinion and that is the end of the story.
-Your ex. Your date is not about your ex. There will be more time to talk about your ex should you guys kick it further. You can only talk about your ex to the only extent you are comfortable with and nothing more than that. Remember your date is about a new beginning.
Consider these other points…
– Take a stand if things start to get weird.
-It should not be a fight who pays the bill
-Do not fear to cut the night short
In case you need more clarification do not hesitate to send in a comment.
Photo Credit: Tinder Alternatives