Pornography is a serious issue and must not be handled with kid gloves. It’s danger are serious and can completely ruin ones life if proper care is not taken. Usually it starts with very simple and seemingly safe things like starting with the movies, then a click of the mouse. Some times you may even hear yourself saying it is nothing and will not be harmful or not that bad, but you keep it in secret. This allows you to plunge on and on.
Not too long from soon, what started as ‘controllable’ will become a habit and deeper and deeper it eats into you. And all these you might not realise on time.
Let me mention here that the user is not usually the only one affected. The evil effect on the society at large is really alarming and must be watched out for.
Knowing the dangers and taking them seriously will help making sure you do not get ensnared. It will be more easier and a true fight when you realsie the fate of the next generation depends on us.
This is why before I discuss how to fight the addiction I will first discuss the dangers so we can fully appreciate how heavy this really is. So let us dive all in.
1. Addiction: There is hardly a single person who habitually watches porn that says it is easy to stop. Even with all their strong desire to stop due to the negative effects of it on their life.
Everyone of them agrees that it is a real struggle. Its more like a slave serving a master. And the battle to stop has not been a successful one.
2. It ruins relationships. Most times completely. Most intimate relationships if not all is usually demands a high level of time and energy. A high level of sacrifice and vulnerability is highly needed. All these are not easy. Pornography is a cheap and easy way to avoid all of that so as to get the momentary feeling that intimacy brings.
The big problem is that these desires and intimacy that could be found in relationships are now replaced by porn. Sex now almost disappears. When connection stops being the goal, sex relationship cheapens. As most of the viewing is done in secret, couples tend to drift apart.
Divorce lawyers have revealed that a large number of divorce cases involved one person with a compulsive porn use. This is very dangerous and can be equaled to playing with fire.
3. Promoting human trafficking. You will come to agree tat every click on a website contributes to destroying lives. Some people who willingly enter the pornography industry have spoken of times when they were coerced into doing hurtful and demeaning things that they are not willing to do.
A popular. male star in this industry once gave a personal account to Fighting The New Drug. In his account he said “I had to go to work so I could do porn, so I can buy the drug to bury the pain from doing the porn. It gets worse people, porn can fuel the fire for prostitution.
4. Our next generation. Young boys and girls that are exposed to it easily get hooked. Finding a teenager who has not been exposed to porn these days will seem a very difficult task if not impossible.
They get exposed and are being taught about sexuality and all that comes with it on the internet and graphic video games. They play at being sexual sending nude pictures to one another at a very early age. They do not know that all these have consequences. It contributes to the destruction of a generation deficient in what it takes to build intimacy.
To a very high extent, adults are to blame. Adults produce the material and market it to the kids. Adults have sexualised them and they are simply molding to the sick culture we have approved.
Are you hooked as an adult and want to fight it all? Well, let us now look into that. From a study, we have come to see that kids look at porn very often. They have this freedom because their parents trust them. These parents simply have no idea what their children are seeing.
Why do you think control is very important…critical? You must first understand that the average age for a child’s exposure to this kind of vice is 11. This simply means if that is the average, some children are seeing it earlier.
Furthermore, some recent research and some others going on has given us are are still giving us some real picture of pornography does to the life and brain of people. Just like substance abuse, it alters the normal processes of the brain creating a desire/ need for a level of stimulation that a normal healthy sex life does not provide. This is serious. Children are hence set up to have a distorted view of sex and suffer from a desire that can not be satisfied.
The question to be asked at this point is, why are so many parents turning a blind eye to this kind of huge problem, one as deadly as this? Do they really not think it is a problem or are they not seeing it the real way it is? One might just easily conclude that it is because of their own porn use? They might be feeling hypocritical setting up boundaries for their kids that they themselves can not hold through.
I just hope this is not you, but if it is then believe me when I say it is not too late to protect your precious kids and also save yourself. Here are top 10 ways I strongly recommend.
1. You must first agree you have a problem. This is the first and the most important step as far as am concerned. We live in a time and clime where every off thing is now being accepted as normal, we justify it and then we tolerate it.
When you admit you have a problem, it is one of the best things you are doing for yourself, your kids and your marriage.
2. You should be held accountable, so invite in some trusted friends or elders. At this point I might just suggest bringing you wife in on your struggle. Voicing out your problems and letting other people in on it is a very huge step in the right direction.
3. Internet/ online accountability. You can use some software to monitor your online activity. For men COVENANT EYES can proof to be a great resource. Here, it allows you to receive on a weekly basis your accountability partner’s report for sites they have visited and the online searches they make.
You will know by the report when to follow up on each other some questionable activity. And most importantly, it allows you to celebrate with each other as you put your online struggles to death.
4. Have boundaries set for your mobile devices. With the invention of smart phones and tablets, we come to find that our mobile devices is now even more of a gateway to pornography than a desktop computer.
The same online accountability should apply to your mobile devices. Get boundaries set and use software to monitor your online activities.
5. Offline pornography. If you have any offline pornography at your disposal now is the time to destroy it. You want to fight your pornography addiction and you are still holding on to that magazine or DVD in it’s secret place, then your struggle will just be a failed one, a masquerade. DESTROY THOSE ITEMS RIGHT NOW!
6. Begin to take all forms of media seriously. Do not ever think that TV shows or movies that portray sexual situations or that portray women in this wrong light are harmless. Even if they are not rated ‘X’ or porn, they are harmful.
If you are struggling with pornography these type of entertainment is not for you. They will only make you struggles more difficult.
7. Think of your marriage if you are married. You should take some step back and think of your marriage. There are some questions you should ask yourself, do you find satisfaction and happiness in your marriage? What do you think is awesome in your marriage or is even lacking in you marriage? Is the level of intimacy in yoour marriage a satisfactory one?
If you address these questions with all sincerity, you just might find the root cause of your problem.
8. You did not just become an addict. This you must realise. Now listen up, how you conduct yourself in public, and where you look everyday have greatly influenced the person you are today.
That double take at the woman you just walked by or the long stare at that woman, the thoughts that come to your mind when you see the magazine in the checkout lane of the super market. As you already know, this is where the battle really commences in the every day life, situation and scenarios. You are expected to continue the good fight here too. Guard your eyes and guard your heart too.
9. What is really behind these videos and images? You should take a moment to look beyond these images and videos that you are looking at. This is a real person created by God… a real human being just like you. She has a life. She is some body’s daughter, child or even mother.
You could go further by thinking of what her life will be like in front of the camera on a daily basis. How exploited and extremely vulnerable she most probably is. She just might have found herself in some string of human trafficking. Do you know what? your addiction is helping fund this multi-billion dollar business.
She is carrying out all those acts just for your enjoyment. There is a high tendency that she is being held captive and is somehow reaching out for help.
10. This is a heart issue first and foremost before anything else. You are practically replacing the truth with a lie. You are cheaply placing your affections on cheap thrills that are ultimately fleeting and leave you feeling really worthless.
If you are a Christian and believe in God you should remember that God created you. Turn to God and ask him for help anytime you are tempted.
I strongly hope that this article helps someone and would like to provide more assistance. Check out our contact page and send me an e-mail or you can leave me a comment and I will personally get back to you.