I have got to deal with this kind of question a few times and they are mostly the same. Maybe not same scenario but it is bothered around same setting. The last person I spoke with on the matter said “He doesn’t want me anymore, what do I do”? Well we are going to address it here and now so that you will know what to do should you ever find yourself in such place.
The bitter truth is that the signs were there but you decided to over look them or you were just not vigilant. That is the truth. You may have decided to ignore them maybe because you did not want to be alone, or you have invested to much and did not want to start all over. It may also be that you were hoping that somehow a miracle will happen and you will convert him into the person you really want. Or worse, you just concluded that you do not deserve better.
It would now be easy to tell you now that people hardly change. At least you can see that now for yourself. People usually show you or even tell you the kind of person they are from the first or second time of contact. You should learn to believe them. Take your queue from there and drop them immediately or do the needful as the case may possibly be.
You should train your mind to believe in yourself and respect yourself. You should choose to be his number one and not some random side chic that can be used and dump. Tell yourself constantly that you deserve better.
A man should earn his spot in your life if not block him out of your life and heart. I have seen a lot of people that feel they are hopelessly in love and can do nothing about it. Well I always tell them that they are stronger than they agree. Yes, you should understand that you have more strength in you, call it all up. As a lady you should know that you do not need to have a man in your life to be complete or even socially accepted.
The men we are talking about here are just not ready to commit. You must agree to that, it is bitter but it is the truth. Until he is ready, you will not get to see all that you desire to see. Most men that are not out looking for a sugar mama or benefits are looking to be financially and emotionally stable before they commit. A man so described will meet even an angel and let them go or even be a jerk to them simply because he is not ready.
The readiness is the reason I always advice that when ever you meet someone you like make you desires and intentions and expectations known. This is so important so that you guys will know where you are heading to. and no one ends up getting disappointed. You will not make it easy for yourself or him if you do not just accept the facts and move on. Your age or the age of the relationship can not make him change his mind, even the amount of tears you shed will not change anything. A man that will not commit will just not commit.
You should never feel the need to convince a man that you are a better option for him or beg him to stay or beg him to value you. These things just come in and should not be cried or begged for. If you do you are pricing yourself cheap and compromising unnecessarily. You should be brave enough to drop him instantly and move on with your life, no matter how much you feel you are attracted to him.
Your ‘wavelenghts’ must be aligned. If they are not, you should not stick around. Anything you see a STOP sign you should just ask yourself, should your best friend be in your shoes what will be your advice to them. How will you react or respond if your best friend still stayed in such wrong relationship? You would have asked her to leave right? Listen to your self and take the step. Should you find yourself still struggling, see a therapist.
Some men find it reasonable to just vanish for a long time. When this happen just know that your man is most probably seeing someone else. His focus is on this new found interest. He could tell you he can not be trusted. This is good because he made it all shorter and easier for you. You do not deserve a relationship void of trust.
A man in love will not leave you in doubt of his love or confused. You will never be left in the dark. You are included in his life and this simply means there will never be a big surprise. You should always try to evaluate if you are included in his life or not. A man in love will always want to share details of his life, mostly from the beginning. Most men in love will want to share their story with you.
It has come to my notice most times that the painful and sad story should have ended long long ago but often times people keep staying for the wrong reasons. You should value yourself and walk away the moment you see the RED FLAG. You should not ignore or compromise. You should not just sit down hoping that there will one day be a change.
It could really hurt you now but you know you just might have been his convenience not love. The whole negative vibe and the immaturity was a reflection on him and not you. Get this in your mind. you should move on and not look back. Do not keep in contact and do away with all that connects you to him. This will help you in the healing process.
You should be with a man you see the whole world clearer with you, a man who can build around you. Not one you will have to beg to stay. Not one who see you as an option, a hide away or convenience till when he is ready to commit.
You should choose to be happy and accept that you just dodged a bullet, someday, not too far, you will meet your man and you will be very happy. Understand that everything in life happens for a reason.
He might come back again, preaching about how he has become a changed person and how he misses you and all. It is on best advice that you do no fall for such. They are usually the opposite of what they say. He is most probably back to mess with your head one more time, get some sex and off he is again.
I hope this piece helps someone out there. Do feel out the contact page or drop a comment if you want to reach out to me for some particular or peculiar questions. I will be more that happy to respond.