Whether it is the guy asking the lady out or the other way round or any way round you may want to have it, you can turn down a date and not be rude. I have seen some ladies turn down some guy really rudely and I decided this will be one of the topics I will tackle and soon… here it is.
A lot of people handle rejection (rude) at different levels. Some good some not too well. You do not want to be the reason someone goes thinking bad about himself; he is not good enough, he made a mistake and the likes. No body takes pride in rejection, worse still when it is rude.
When a person asks you out, you get the feeling of being wanted, loved, desired and even sometimes special.
You just might be a part of someone’s life and really not know it. When they do make this evident by asking you on a date and you do not feel the same it is important that you make this known to them. How you go about this really matters. You need to turn them down nicely.
Let us not discuss some ways you can turn them down gracefully, nicely, without being rude, or even labeled mean.
-Try to be honest, do not lie as this will also help you. He opened up to you because he loves and adores you. He would be expecting a positive result right? If anything you owe him an honest reply and also proffer reasons why he is being declined.
With this he will get closure and he will be able to better move on in life. You should be honest and do not beat around the bush.
-Be direct, stand firm and do not be ‘rude’. Well you have the final say when it comes to ‘you’ matters. The decision to go on the date or not to go with someone depends entirely on you. No body can and should force you to go on a date that you do not want to.
Being polite will be the best way to go. If the other person is not picking on the hint and will not take no for an answer or is just being persistent, at this point it is expected that you take firm stand and you send your message loud and clear in a way that it will not be confused and you will not sound harsh or ‘rude’.
-Do not dash is ego. Boost it. You will be lifting his spirit when you boost his ego. You know his is a great guy, he is a great looking guy, attractive, chivalrous and funny… every lady will kill for him but not you…you do not want to go out with him and you also do not want to kill or damage his spirit.
Let him know that you still think he is a great guy and that you respect him. Open up to him about how you perceive him and let him enjoy the time and feel good about himself. By so doing the blow of the rejection is mellowed down. Your flattery will nurse his bruised ego and you are making the whole situation easy for him.
-Be thankful. You need to be appreciative. It is very important. Make sure you do not humiliate him or laugh at him. I have seen were this broke a man.
You should remember that you are the girl or his dreams and you just made it know that he can nt have you. Laughing at him will only make it all worse.
-Do the rejection personally. Do not think of doing it via a phone call, e-mail, text message, or even a mutual friend. Forget it. This will make the whole thing worse and will not talk much good of you as this will a disrespect to him.
Rejecting him will simply mean that another person now knows he is asking you out and he will feel it is all now in open and will now feel like a joke and that he is now mocked in front of this friend.
-You can introduce him to someone who is interested. When he comes to you he is expecting a yes or just a heartbreaking no. He is not expecting the introduction of someone else.
When he gets a ‘yes’ you will just be setting his joy on fire… and a ‘no’ will just be a set back. You can tone this all down by introducing him to someone you know that will be definitely interested in his proposal and that is single. You rejection will not be welcomed with open arms and will be dejecting but the prospect of introducing him to someone new could be exciting, raise his hope and help him know this all may just not be the end of the world.
But there is a warning… do no try to do this if you know he is very interested about you. This has been known to make the whole situation all worse.
-You should make attempts to maintain cordiality. You should understand that no matter how polite you did it, turning someone down is equal to rejection. You can not just easily know the amount of courage he has to muster or the lengths he went to ask you out. A better part of him must have told him you will accept that was why he came to you in the first place, (I believe that is the case most of the time) and there… he was rejected.
If you see yourselves regularly the least you can do is to now maintain a cordially relationship after the whole episode. While at it be sure that he is okay with this attempt and would not mind it. If you find out that he does it will be better you just spare him the whole pain by just steering clear of his way it he is all ready to see you again.
-Be simple. Simplicity is highly appreciated in this kind of matter. The guy could be anxious with is heart trying to race out of his mouth. He is desperate and waiting for an answer, you do not want to keep him longer.
Just say ”no, thank you”.
Make sure you do not give excuses and you do not lead him on. “I and too busy to be in a relationship, “I am not read”, stuff like these are capable of sending the wrong vibes.
These kind of responses could just mean you are interested in him but not just yet. He may even begin to nurse the feeling that if he comes a little later he may get a positive response.